Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
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