Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
