Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
