he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
