I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize