you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
There are leaves in my underwear?
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