if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
