I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
