Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
