I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
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