i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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