the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Randomize
