is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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