she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I wish they made helmets for livers.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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