did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
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i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
i dont even know how to be here
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
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It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
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