That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
