she smelled like a LAN party
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
