Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Randomize
