I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Randomize
