oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Randomize
