Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
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