you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
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I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
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