I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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