dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
