true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
