Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
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