how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Randomize
