The maid of honor just puked.
My cat gives me a boner
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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