wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
