Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
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