Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize