We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
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