If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
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