Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
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