Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Two words: blizzard sex
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
