i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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