so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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