as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
