honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
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