Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
