Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
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