I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
