please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Randomize
