I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
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