Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
