You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
