Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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