she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize
