I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
