Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
