Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
