What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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