May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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