I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
