my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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