she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
