we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
