I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
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