So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize
