You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
