We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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