I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
