Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
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