Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
