it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
