I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
