So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
