I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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