I just pynch a tree in the face
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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