So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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