remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
